Your thoughts?

I am considering adding to federalcheese a gossip section in which readers can report on rumors of who's been "banging" Jessica Simpson recently.

Certain things freak me out

Topping this list is when I am driving late at night and see a large yellow ball bounce in front of my car. I slam on the breaks and skid to a stop just before a little girl in a white dress comes running into the street. This shit isn't supposed to actually happen and it sure as hell shouldn't be happening at 11:30 at night!

Recent Happenings

I apologize for the delay in federalcheese reporting, but I have been uninspired recently. Maybe it's allergies or possibly the warm weather. Maybe it's the total absence of anything good and just in this world, it's anybodys guess really. I was in Las Vegas last week, enjoying some good time off. I was able to make it to a Las Vegas 51's game and witness Jayson Werth make a error that allowed for an Albuquerque Isotopes run. What do you expect from a guy that spells both of his names wrong? Ginger also informs me that her crush on him has faded with time and his substandard baseball performance.
We were also in attendence for the new Cirque du Soleil show "Zumanity." Lots of toplessness and erotic debauchery. I highly recommend it mainly because it's good to see there in a niche for ex-strippers. Other than a 1:30am screening of "Revenge of the Sith" in which the guys in front of us spoke often of the "gangbang" they were missing to see it, I spent a lot of time by the pool reading "The Last American Man" by Elizabeth Gilbert per Justin Housman's insistance.
In case you were wondering, I lost twenty dollars gambling and have no need to return to "Sin City" for at least another year.

When Magic Talks. . .

Is it possible to lose the LA Mayoral race with Magic Johnson on your side?

I have officially returned

I have received some queries about my return. I can gladly say that my mini vacation is over and I am back safely on the Central Coast. No need to worry any longer. A few associates and I had a grand time camping at Limekiln State Park, pictured here. I was also in attendence for Brett Tomko's masterful performance over the Pittsburg Pirates on Monday night. And now it's back to work. Oh God.

PFC Hottie

I don't know why I never noticed it before. Lynndie England is HOT! And a bad girl from what I've seen on la internet.